Oh my.
So, has anyone ever been put on "standby" if they miss their flight? I didn't even know about it until today. What an experience.
So we got put on standby for both of the flights heading to Heathrow from Houston today. One was flying out at 3:45pm, the other at 6:25pm. For those who do not know, like myself up until today, being put on standby basically means you sit around and hope that someone doesn't turn up or cancels their ticket, then you take their place.
Well, we tried that. We got to the airport around noon, checked in as per normal, got a giant preztel inside the airport (those things are salty!) and then waited. And waited. And waited. Around 3pm, it is announced that there is a problem with the plane. At 3:45, it's announced there is still a problem. At 4:15, it's announced again. At about 4:30, they begin boarding. At 4:45, they announced that there was no more room and all standby passengers were being rolled over to the 6:25 flight in the hopes that there will be room.
Around 10 minutes later I got up and asked the lady at the check-in desk if there was anything I could do. She told me to speak to customer service, as she had to get ready for the next flight. She did let me know that the 6:25 flight only had 1 cancellation so far, and at least 9 people wanting the seat. I guess the hurricane messed up a lot of peoples plans.
We, Megan and I, walked down to customer service. I was ready to pay the difference, I was expecting at least another $1000, and actually book my tickets for later in the week. It was either that or come back every day between now and whenever I finally get a standby seat. It might have been soon, it might have been later. It most definitely would have been a single seat. I'm sick of flying alone :(.
So I got called to the customer service desk and explained my story to a nice large black lady behind the counter. I explain that we got put on standby, but that I have a medical emergency and cannot afford to come to the airport every day in the hopes of a seat. I tell her I need two seats for as soon as possible. She clicks away on the computer, and comes up with some news.
I now have two seats for Friday, leaving Houston at 11:35am, landing in Washington DC for a 3 hour stayover at 4pm, then landing in the UK finally at 6:30am Saturday morning. I think we'll get to the airport at like 9am. I'm not taking any chances on this one.
Oh, and it didn't cost anything extra. The lady thought we were delayed by the hurricane. She didn't ask why or how we "missed" our flight. I think she has had so many people messed up by Irene that she just assumed we were similar. She even started asking about if we had accommodation in Houston or if she needed to sort that too - I explained my wife lives locally so all I need are tickets. She printed them off, and we headed to baggage reclaim to get our bags back and wait until Friday.
Unfortunately, by the time I write this, our bags should be landing in Heathrow. Somehow, they flew without us. The lady in the baggage claim area explained that Heathrow hold onto bags, so when we get there on Saturday morning they should still be there. I hope so. But honestly, it's the least of my worries right now. I'm just glad I can still come home, and that it didn't cost me as much as the surgery would have here.
Now if I can just hold on until then, all will be fine. I just want to thank the random black customer service lady for giving me the chance.
Thank you, random black customer service lady.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Day 6.5
Well, looks like I wont have to miss the USA for another day, at least.
Missed the plane. Don't want to go into it. Don't feel like giving specifics. Going to go back tomorrow AM and wait in the airport all day in the hopes that somebody cancels. Time to give my Kindle another workout, I think.
Not much else to say, just another brick in the wall. Or another thorn in my paw, not sure which. Still, gotta look on the positive side of everything, right?
Not sure what the positive side of this one is, though...
Missed the plane. Don't want to go into it. Don't feel like giving specifics. Going to go back tomorrow AM and wait in the airport all day in the hopes that somebody cancels. Time to give my Kindle another workout, I think.
Not much else to say, just another brick in the wall. Or another thorn in my paw, not sure which. Still, gotta look on the positive side of everything, right?
Not sure what the positive side of this one is, though...
Day 6
Quick entry as I am heading to the airport within the hour.
Not much actually happened today, but it feels like loads has. We just got our final errands out of the way, now I just need to finish packing a few bits that I couldn't pack earlier and I am done.
I have some good news about the visa, which we just applied for, but I don't have time to write it up now, so it'll have to wait until I'm in the UK.
So long for now, USA. I'll miss you.
Not much actually happened today, but it feels like loads has. We just got our final errands out of the way, now I just need to finish packing a few bits that I couldn't pack earlier and I am done.
I have some good news about the visa, which we just applied for, but I don't have time to write it up now, so it'll have to wait until I'm in the UK.
So long for now, USA. I'll miss you.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Day 5
Man, it's only Day 5? It feels like Day 2000. Amazing how much slower and stretched time feels when you are waiting on something like this.
So today was spent mostly organizing what we didn't organize yesterday. The visa paperwork is now ready to ship out tomorrow when the post office is open. We ate at a Chinese buffet for lunch, but my stomach wasn't in it. I kind of freaked out a little earlier. Things appear more swollen downstairs. It's a little terrifying, and I was nearly sick earlier. But, I'll be getting seen to in 2 days, so I'm still hopeful that everything will be fine. It will, right?
It's a weird conflict of emotions getting ready to fly with another person. Usually these last days of visiting Megan are very melancholy and go by so fast, but I can't help that feel sorry for dragging her into all this, even if it was her idea to come with me and she says I have nothing to be sorry about. But she still quit her job, spent most of her money and is putting her life on hold, all for me. My uncle is even an extra $1200 out of pocket paying for her ticket. It's a little overwhelming that I have that much impact on other people.
Of course, I'd do the same for her in a heartbeat. And I'd do the same in my uncle's position, too. But that's different.
Anyway, my plans for tomorrow include sending the visa paperwork, finishing packing, dismantling this PC and storing it next door (this house is being used by Megan's father, but I'd just prefer not to leave a $2000 PC out where anyone can walk in and use it!) and getting to the airport around 4pm. Our flight is at 6:35pm.
I don't know how much I will manage to sleep tonight. It's a big day tomorrow, and more big days will follow afterwards. I am looking forward to visiting home again, I just was not expecting it to come around so early. But still, I'll try to make the best out of a non-ideal situation.
I'll post again before shutting the PC down tomorrow with some final thoughts, if I get time.
Later day(s).
So today was spent mostly organizing what we didn't organize yesterday. The visa paperwork is now ready to ship out tomorrow when the post office is open. We ate at a Chinese buffet for lunch, but my stomach wasn't in it. I kind of freaked out a little earlier. Things appear more swollen downstairs. It's a little terrifying, and I was nearly sick earlier. But, I'll be getting seen to in 2 days, so I'm still hopeful that everything will be fine. It will, right?
It's a weird conflict of emotions getting ready to fly with another person. Usually these last days of visiting Megan are very melancholy and go by so fast, but I can't help that feel sorry for dragging her into all this, even if it was her idea to come with me and she says I have nothing to be sorry about. But she still quit her job, spent most of her money and is putting her life on hold, all for me. My uncle is even an extra $1200 out of pocket paying for her ticket. It's a little overwhelming that I have that much impact on other people.
Of course, I'd do the same for her in a heartbeat. And I'd do the same in my uncle's position, too. But that's different.
Anyway, my plans for tomorrow include sending the visa paperwork, finishing packing, dismantling this PC and storing it next door (this house is being used by Megan's father, but I'd just prefer not to leave a $2000 PC out where anyone can walk in and use it!) and getting to the airport around 4pm. Our flight is at 6:35pm.
I don't know how much I will manage to sleep tonight. It's a big day tomorrow, and more big days will follow afterwards. I am looking forward to visiting home again, I just was not expecting it to come around so early. But still, I'll try to make the best out of a non-ideal situation.
I'll post again before shutting the PC down tomorrow with some final thoughts, if I get time.
Later day(s).
Day 4
Okay, where to begin with what happened today? I'm writing this at 11:56pm Texas time. Let's see if I can finish it before midnight!
Still not much to report on the health front. Nobody has called back about getting care here, and that is fine, I have accepted that I am going home at this point, and so has my wife.
We've spent most of today doing errands that need to get done before we leave. We've filled in and printed forms that we need for the marriage visa, and we've got the $420 money order done. I was going to pay for that on my credit card, but they do not accept credit, so now my wife is just as broke as I am. Good time to move countries for 6 months, no?
She's appearing more broken up about all of this than I am. She's never been away from home for so long before, whilst I am quite used to coming and going from my home country. It's a little hard to balance my wish for haste with my feelings of pity for her, but the tickets are all booked up now so it's just a case of waiting until Monday night to fly back.
Apart from printing the forms and saying bye to a few people, it's been a pretty relaxing day. We played games for a while, and whilst the situation is always on my mind, it's good to pretend to forget about it for a few hours.
Oh, also, I think I might have got some poison oak on my skin, as my right foot has been really itchy. My wife gave me some allergy stuff and some cream, and it stopped itching. However, it also made me very drowsy.
Hence why I didn't finish this post before midnight. Dang. Oh well.
More updates to come.. when I have stuff to update!
Still not much to report on the health front. Nobody has called back about getting care here, and that is fine, I have accepted that I am going home at this point, and so has my wife.
We've spent most of today doing errands that need to get done before we leave. We've filled in and printed forms that we need for the marriage visa, and we've got the $420 money order done. I was going to pay for that on my credit card, but they do not accept credit, so now my wife is just as broke as I am. Good time to move countries for 6 months, no?
She's appearing more broken up about all of this than I am. She's never been away from home for so long before, whilst I am quite used to coming and going from my home country. It's a little hard to balance my wish for haste with my feelings of pity for her, but the tickets are all booked up now so it's just a case of waiting until Monday night to fly back.
Apart from printing the forms and saying bye to a few people, it's been a pretty relaxing day. We played games for a while, and whilst the situation is always on my mind, it's good to pretend to forget about it for a few hours.
Oh, also, I think I might have got some poison oak on my skin, as my right foot has been really itchy. My wife gave me some allergy stuff and some cream, and it stopped itching. However, it also made me very drowsy.
Hence why I didn't finish this post before midnight. Dang. Oh well.
More updates to come.. when I have stuff to update!
Friday, August 26, 2011
Day 3
What a day.
The support I have received over this, so far, has been overwhelming. Old friends offering to chip in, relatives offering to help out, even strangers just visibly caring has all been amazing.
I have been calling around here in the US to see if any clinics would be willing to press my case, but since I'm not a citizen/resident here yet, nobody has been willing. However, all the people I've talked to (bar one..) have been super helpful and caring. One woman has even called me back three times to offer me solutions, but all of them have ended in dead-ends. I'm not just sitting around however, I'm just perusing this while I arrange to fly back to the UK.
My Canadian uncle has graciously offered to help pay for my tickets, both mine and Megan's, so I can get back to the UK. If I cannot find anything here, and my hope for that has almost dried up, I will be flying back to the UK on Monday night to arrived 9:30AM Tuesday morning.
After that, who knows? I am going to try to contact my local UK hospital tomorrow and ask my options. The last thing I want is to wait around for a few weeks while this thing, whatever it is, festers away. I'm not sure if I need to see my local GP first, or go to a specialist, or go straight to the hospital with my US ultrasound results.
I also had another task to do today, get together everything to apply for another visa, so that one day I can come back. Will I never learn?
As I put together the list of things I need to fill in, I started writing my cover letter. I tried to explain everything that's happened so far, and I actually managed to type quite a lot. I'll paste it here, although the blog so far has covered almost everything. I apologise for the visa mumbo-jumbo, hopefully you can follow it:
So, we'll see how that goes. Maybe after beating the cancer, I can change this into a visa blog until my life is finally moving forward!
As the electricity flickers on and off here, I think about how long the last few days have felt. I've spoken to a lot of people that I haven't spoken to in a long time. I've done some things that I wouldn't normally do. I don't want my life to go back to normal, I want it to be better than it was. As generic and cliche as it sounds, I think I'll have a new-found respect for life.
Scratch that. I think I already do.
The support I have received over this, so far, has been overwhelming. Old friends offering to chip in, relatives offering to help out, even strangers just visibly caring has all been amazing.
I have been calling around here in the US to see if any clinics would be willing to press my case, but since I'm not a citizen/resident here yet, nobody has been willing. However, all the people I've talked to (bar one..) have been super helpful and caring. One woman has even called me back three times to offer me solutions, but all of them have ended in dead-ends. I'm not just sitting around however, I'm just perusing this while I arrange to fly back to the UK.
My Canadian uncle has graciously offered to help pay for my tickets, both mine and Megan's, so I can get back to the UK. If I cannot find anything here, and my hope for that has almost dried up, I will be flying back to the UK on Monday night to arrived 9:30AM Tuesday morning.
After that, who knows? I am going to try to contact my local UK hospital tomorrow and ask my options. The last thing I want is to wait around for a few weeks while this thing, whatever it is, festers away. I'm not sure if I need to see my local GP first, or go to a specialist, or go straight to the hospital with my US ultrasound results.
I also had another task to do today, get together everything to apply for another visa, so that one day I can come back. Will I never learn?
As I put together the list of things I need to fill in, I started writing my cover letter. I tried to explain everything that's happened so far, and I actually managed to type quite a lot. I'll paste it here, although the blog so far has covered almost everything. I apologise for the visa mumbo-jumbo, hopefully you can follow it:
Dear Sir or Madam:
My name is Aaron Demner, and I am writing to explain my I-130 application.
I met my now wife online in 2008, through a videogame we both played. We met several times before applying for a I-129f, a fiancée visa in August 2010. We went through the waiting period, we were approved, and I attended a medical and an interview in London in April 2011. I was approved, and booked my ticket for May 2011. My prior Alien Registration Number was #####.
I arrived safely, and we married on the 2nd of August, 2011, in a small ceremony in The Woodlands, Texas. I started to prepare the forms required for the Adjustment of Status, while my wife continued working. I organized it all, and we were waiting until she got one more paycheck so that we could safely fund the AOS.
Then one morning I noticed that one of my testicles was more firm than the other. I waited a few days to see and pray that it went away on its own. It did not.
I attended a urology clinic, and saw a Dr Don Berardinucci on Tuesday the 23rd Aug, 2011. He checked me and said he did not like what he felt. He arranged an ultrasound in a screening clinic nearby, I attended that afternoon. My wife has signed an automatic payment plan to pay for said ultrasound. The results were sent back to the doctor, but he was too busy to see me, and arranged an appointment for Thursday. However, after receiving the results, he called up and moved the appointment to the very next day, Wednesday the 24th Aug.
He was blunt. He told me he was 95% sure I had cancer of the right testicle. He told me surgery would be $3000, not including the scans afterwards, but he also informed me that certain hospitals might be able to offer certain programs to help me financially.
I am not insured, and neither is my wife. However, the UK offers free healthcare, and since it has not been 6 months since I left, I still qualify for that. I did not want to burden the US taxpayers by asking for a charity case, nor did I wish my wife to go into debt taking out medical loans on my behalf. Even getting a biopsy and finding out it is not cancer could still lead to expensive health complications.
I asked my Uncle to help finance my tickets, and I return to the UK to undertake immediate treatment on Monday the 29th. I attended an InfoPass appointment at the Greenpoint, TX USCIS office on the 25th Aug to ask for advice, and I was told since I had not applied for AOS yet, I could not get advanced parole to leave and re-enter the US, and that I would need to apply for a whole new visa, a I-130.
So here I am, applying once more. Please find attached copies of the ultrasound results, and also a copy of my wife’s payment plan to pay for it. I ask that you take my prior approved application into consideration, and know that as soon as all this is over I very much look forward to starting my new life together with my wife in the US.
Sincerely,
Aaron Demner
So, we'll see how that goes. Maybe after beating the cancer, I can change this into a visa blog until my life is finally moving forward!
As the electricity flickers on and off here, I think about how long the last few days have felt. I've spoken to a lot of people that I haven't spoken to in a long time. I've done some things that I wouldn't normally do. I don't want my life to go back to normal, I want it to be better than it was. As generic and cliche as it sounds, I think I'll have a new-found respect for life.
Scratch that. I think I already do.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Day 2
No news is good news, is it?
This isn't so much about the cancer. You'd think that would be filling my mind at the moment, but it really isn't. I should probably change my priorities.
Anyway, I am at a stage in my process of moving from the UK to the US. I am not allowed to return to the US to live at this point if I leave. The process goes a little something like this:
Decide to go through with this
Apply while in the UK
Wait 6 months
Get approved
Move
Get Married
Apply for Adjustment of Status
Get green card
Live life
We got to the adjustment of status section, but did not apply yet. We're poor. The AOS costs another $1000. We were waiting for another paycheck before applying. Then all this happens.
Once we applied for AOS, I could have asked permission to leave early and return once my business was done. But if I leave at this point, they will view it as me abandoning my application. I'll have to start all over again, but file a slightly different petition. A marriage visa instead of a fiancee visa. The waiting period is about the same. Oh, and the fee is $420. And later we'll still have to pay that $1000.
So looks like I'll be stuck in the UK for a while if I return, which I'm almost 100% certain that I will. And my wife is only allowed to stay for 6 months on a visitor visa. She isn't allowed to work, either. So I'm not sure what we're going to do.
I'm going to beat this. I'm going to win over my body, and the government, and my incredibly bad luck that causes this to happen. I'm just not sure how yet.
But I will.
This isn't so much about the cancer. You'd think that would be filling my mind at the moment, but it really isn't. I should probably change my priorities.
Anyway, I am at a stage in my process of moving from the UK to the US. I am not allowed to return to the US to live at this point if I leave. The process goes a little something like this:
Decide to go through with this
Apply while in the UK
Wait 6 months
Get approved
Move
Get Married
Apply for Adjustment of Status
Get green card
Live life
We got to the adjustment of status section, but did not apply yet. We're poor. The AOS costs another $1000. We were waiting for another paycheck before applying. Then all this happens.
Once we applied for AOS, I could have asked permission to leave early and return once my business was done. But if I leave at this point, they will view it as me abandoning my application. I'll have to start all over again, but file a slightly different petition. A marriage visa instead of a fiancee visa. The waiting period is about the same. Oh, and the fee is $420. And later we'll still have to pay that $1000.
So looks like I'll be stuck in the UK for a while if I return, which I'm almost 100% certain that I will. And my wife is only allowed to stay for 6 months on a visitor visa. She isn't allowed to work, either. So I'm not sure what we're going to do.
I'm going to beat this. I'm going to win over my body, and the government, and my incredibly bad luck that causes this to happen. I'm just not sure how yet.
But I will.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Day 1
So. Today, 24th August, 2011, I was told by a US doctor, a lovely Dr Don Berardinucci, that he was 95% sure I have testicular cancer.
It all started two weeks ago. I noticed my right ball was a bit more firm than the left. I understand this can happen, but was also instantly terrified since my whole life I've been under the idea that "oh God as soon as you feel anything firm in your balls you better run to the doctor immediately". Why didn't I? Let me give you some backstory.
At the time of writing this, I am a 25 year old British man living in the USA with my wife. We met online (yes, in a game, no, not in Warcraft) in 2008, and got married on Aug 2nd, 2011. We've been setting up the forms needed to apply for my Adjustment of Status, an expensive final step before I can start working, when I noticed my right testicle being firmer than the other.
I waited a week, like an idiot, to hope that it was something minor and not what I was dreading it was. What I was expecting it to be. What can I say? I'm a pessimist. It didn't go away. I finally saw the doctor first time yesterday, Aug 23rd. He felt around, said he didn't like the feel of it, but that I needed an (expensive) ultrasound to supply further information. We got the ultrasound booked for an hour later, 1pm yesterday afternoon.
We, my wife and I, went to Starbucks, but neither of us felt like eating. I managed to drink some water, and we walked over to the image clinic. They saw me early, only a little while after we got there. The cardiology assistant took me into a back room, asked me to undress and.. well, you get the idea. After it was all done, she told me I could dress and leave, and took the images to the cardiologist to send over to my doctor. She left the screen turned on though, and being the tech-savy guy that I feel I am, I took a look at it.
The screen showed what I guessed was both of my testicles. The left one, the one that feels normal, had a few orange blobs but for the most showed a normal looking circle. The right one, however.. I can't describe what it looked like. Some kind of explosion, covered in orange blobs both top and bottom. I did not enjoy looking at it, and was rather annoyed that the assistant just left it on and walked out of the room. What were people looking at it supposed to think? I feel sorry for other ultrasound patients.
We went back to the doctors in low spirits, prepared for the worst. My wife walked in to ask when we could come back for the results, and they told her that Thursday would be the earliest. We went home, cried a lot, and tried to desperately plan for the worst.
However, a few hours later, the nurse from Dr Berardinucci's office called, moving our appointment to today. A day earlier. Could it be because of the bad news? Or maybe it's good and he wants me to know as soon as possible? Again, my pessimism told me that was not the case, but I still held onto a sliver of hope.
My wife had to work today, so her Aunt, a lovely woman and a cancer survivor herself, took me down there. We got there early again, and got seen pretty promptly. The doctor didn't waste any time however, he told me the following:
I'm 95% sure it's testicular cancer. What I felt yesterday, it felt like it, but I didn't want to say anything until we had more tests. I felt cancer, and the ultrasound shows growths that would coincide with cancer. Testicular cancer is the most treatable cancer there is, if we catch it early enough. I understand you are not on insurance, and I don't know how you want to handle this, but I can schedule you in for surgery to remove the testicle on Friday.
He left the room to get one of his nurses to get a quote. The quote came to nearly $3000 for just the surgery and the anaesthetic. I would then need CAT scans, and if it isn't all gone, lots more bloodwork, surgery, even chemo. I don't want to think about the chemo. I like my hair.
So, that's where I stand now. The UK offers free healthcare, but do I have time to fly back there and get it? Can I bring my wife with me? Can I instead raise the money here and get treated?
Find out in the next part of ZOMBIE CANCER Z.
Or something.
It all started two weeks ago. I noticed my right ball was a bit more firm than the left. I understand this can happen, but was also instantly terrified since my whole life I've been under the idea that "oh God as soon as you feel anything firm in your balls you better run to the doctor immediately". Why didn't I? Let me give you some backstory.
At the time of writing this, I am a 25 year old British man living in the USA with my wife. We met online (yes, in a game, no, not in Warcraft) in 2008, and got married on Aug 2nd, 2011. We've been setting up the forms needed to apply for my Adjustment of Status, an expensive final step before I can start working, when I noticed my right testicle being firmer than the other.
I waited a week, like an idiot, to hope that it was something minor and not what I was dreading it was. What I was expecting it to be. What can I say? I'm a pessimist. It didn't go away. I finally saw the doctor first time yesterday, Aug 23rd. He felt around, said he didn't like the feel of it, but that I needed an (expensive) ultrasound to supply further information. We got the ultrasound booked for an hour later, 1pm yesterday afternoon.
We, my wife and I, went to Starbucks, but neither of us felt like eating. I managed to drink some water, and we walked over to the image clinic. They saw me early, only a little while after we got there. The cardiology assistant took me into a back room, asked me to undress and.. well, you get the idea. After it was all done, she told me I could dress and leave, and took the images to the cardiologist to send over to my doctor. She left the screen turned on though, and being the tech-savy guy that I feel I am, I took a look at it.
The screen showed what I guessed was both of my testicles. The left one, the one that feels normal, had a few orange blobs but for the most showed a normal looking circle. The right one, however.. I can't describe what it looked like. Some kind of explosion, covered in orange blobs both top and bottom. I did not enjoy looking at it, and was rather annoyed that the assistant just left it on and walked out of the room. What were people looking at it supposed to think? I feel sorry for other ultrasound patients.
We went back to the doctors in low spirits, prepared for the worst. My wife walked in to ask when we could come back for the results, and they told her that Thursday would be the earliest. We went home, cried a lot, and tried to desperately plan for the worst.
However, a few hours later, the nurse from Dr Berardinucci's office called, moving our appointment to today. A day earlier. Could it be because of the bad news? Or maybe it's good and he wants me to know as soon as possible? Again, my pessimism told me that was not the case, but I still held onto a sliver of hope.
My wife had to work today, so her Aunt, a lovely woman and a cancer survivor herself, took me down there. We got there early again, and got seen pretty promptly. The doctor didn't waste any time however, he told me the following:
I'm 95% sure it's testicular cancer. What I felt yesterday, it felt like it, but I didn't want to say anything until we had more tests. I felt cancer, and the ultrasound shows growths that would coincide with cancer. Testicular cancer is the most treatable cancer there is, if we catch it early enough. I understand you are not on insurance, and I don't know how you want to handle this, but I can schedule you in for surgery to remove the testicle on Friday.
He left the room to get one of his nurses to get a quote. The quote came to nearly $3000 for just the surgery and the anaesthetic. I would then need CAT scans, and if it isn't all gone, lots more bloodwork, surgery, even chemo. I don't want to think about the chemo. I like my hair.
So, that's where I stand now. The UK offers free healthcare, but do I have time to fly back there and get it? Can I bring my wife with me? Can I instead raise the money here and get treated?
Find out in the next part of ZOMBIE CANCER Z.
Or something.
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