Day 1

So. Today, 24th August, 2011, I was told by a US doctor, a lovely Dr Don Berardinucci, that he was 95% sure I have testicular cancer.

It all started two weeks ago. I noticed my right ball was a bit more firm than the left. I understand this can happen, but was also instantly terrified since my whole life I've been under the idea that "oh God as soon as you feel anything firm in your balls you better run to the doctor immediately". Why didn't I? Let me give you some backstory.

At the time of writing this, I am a 25 year old British man living in the USA with my wife. We met online (yes, in a game, no, not in Warcraft) in 2008, and got married on Aug 2nd, 2011. We've been setting up the forms needed to apply for my Adjustment of Status, an expensive final step before I can start working, when I noticed my right testicle being firmer than the other.

I waited a week, like an idiot, to hope that it was something minor and not what I was dreading it was. What I was expecting it to be. What can I say? I'm a pessimist. It didn't go away. I finally saw the doctor first time yesterday, Aug 23rd. He felt around, said he didn't like the feel of it, but that I needed an (expensive) ultrasound to supply further information. We got the ultrasound booked for an hour later, 1pm yesterday afternoon.

We, my wife and I, went to Starbucks, but neither of us felt like eating. I managed to drink some water, and we walked over to the image clinic. They saw me early, only a little while after we got there. The cardiology assistant took me into a back room, asked me to undress and.. well, you get the idea. After it was all done, she told me I could dress and leave, and took the images to the cardiologist to send over to my doctor. She left the screen turned on though, and being the tech-savy guy that I feel I am, I took a look at it.

The screen showed what I guessed was both of my testicles. The left one, the one that feels normal, had a few orange blobs but for the most showed a normal looking circle. The right one, however.. I can't describe what it looked like. Some kind of explosion, covered in orange blobs both top and bottom. I did not enjoy looking at it, and was rather annoyed that the assistant just left it on and walked out of the room. What were people looking at it supposed to think? I feel sorry for other ultrasound patients.

We went back to the doctors in low spirits, prepared for the worst. My wife walked in to ask when we could come back for the results, and they told her that Thursday would be the earliest. We went home, cried a lot, and tried to desperately plan for the worst.

However, a few hours later, the nurse from Dr Berardinucci's office called, moving our appointment to today. A day earlier. Could it be because of the bad news? Or maybe it's good and he wants me to know as soon as possible? Again, my pessimism told me that was not the case, but I still held onto a sliver of hope.

My wife had to work today, so her Aunt, a lovely woman and a cancer survivor herself, took me down there. We got there early again, and got seen pretty promptly. The doctor didn't waste any time however, he told me the following:

I'm 95% sure it's testicular cancer. What I felt yesterday, it felt like it, but I didn't want to say anything until we had more tests. I felt cancer, and the ultrasound shows growths that would coincide with cancer. Testicular cancer is the most treatable cancer there is, if we catch it early enough. I understand you are not on insurance,  and I don't know how you want to handle this, but I can schedule you in for surgery to remove the testicle on Friday.

He left the room to get one of his nurses to get a quote. The quote came to nearly $3000 for just the surgery and the anaesthetic. I would then need CAT scans, and if it isn't all gone, lots more bloodwork, surgery, even chemo. I don't want to think about the chemo. I like my hair.

So, that's where I stand now. The UK offers free healthcare, but do I have time to fly back there and get it? Can I bring my wife with me? Can I instead raise the money here and get treated?

Find out in the next part of ZOMBIE CANCER Z.
Or something.