Surgery Day & Day 22

Hoo boy. Surgery day. The most fun possible to have at a hospital?? I think so!

I had to get there around 11:30am, which I did. I felt fine, a little bit nervous but nothing major. Megan and my mum came in with me, but within 20 minutes I was called to a back room and they had to leave. Another attempt later (the first time the lady came to get me, she didn't actually tell us to come with her, and while I was saying bye, I got locked out of the room. A few more minutes waiting brought her back, though.) I was taken into a back room and showed to a bed.

The bed had upon it an open-backed robe, a large towel and a large sheet. The curtained-off room also contained a small empty blue crate and a small chair. I was not sure if I was supposed to change into the robe or not, so I just waited. After about 10 minutes of waiting I walked to the little reception that the ward had and asked, and was told that a nurse would come along and explain things soon. So I went back and waited.

Shortly, an "assistant to Mr Andrews" turned up. He introduced himself to everyone like that, no names. I thought that was pretty strange. He asked me some questions, basic ones about smoking/eating etc, then left pretty quickly. A little bizarre I thought, but whatever.

I'm glad I brought my book (still reading Wheel of Time) as I'd gotten through about 3 chapters before the nurse showed up. She got me to lay on the bed, and told me she had to take my blood pressure and, surprise surprise, a blood sample. Again. Apparently the sample they took in A&E didn't have "enough blood in it". Neat. So I talked her through the last attempts to draw blood, and how little success the other MK nurse had. I also had only drunk 1 cup of water that morning (I'm only allowed to drink 2 anyway, and I didn't think they'd be taking more blood!) so my veins didn't show up very well. So she stabbed me in the arm twice to no avail, then stabbed in in the hand twice too. Eventually she got some, and it was the slowest draining blood in the whole world ever. I never look, I always just stare at the ceiling, but my neck started to hurt so I looked. The vial was very slow at filling up, I tried relaxing, tried breathing deeper, but all that did was make me want to pass out.

She finally finished just in time, as I'm almost certain I would have passed out if I didn't lay down at that point. She apologized for how long it took, and told me to change into the robe when I feel better and the anaesthetist will be along shortly. I asked if I needed to remove all clothes first, and she told me I could keep my boxers on until they come to take me to the theatre. I also stupidly asked for some water to calm my nerves, but I wasn't allowed to drink anything else. Oh, also, she told me my blood pressure was kind of high, but she chalked that up to nervousness. Apparently I was more nervous than I felt.

After a short while I did change, the robe wasn't too uncomfortable although I had trouble tying up the second tie. The anaesthetist came in shortly, she didn't do anything other than double check questions I'd been asked before.. whether I smoke, whether I've ever smoked, if I use drugs, the last time I ate/drank, stuff like that. She seemed happy with the answers, and left saying she would "see me later". I guess she would!

Another few chapters later some other nurse came by just to check I was okay, and explained the procedure to me. I already knew how the op would go, and what he said sounded right, so I agreed to it. He then started to put up the side of my bed to take me away. He left after doing that, so when another nurse came by I told her I was still wearing my boxers. She agreed that wasn't a good idea for the procedure I was having, so she left while I took them off and laid back on the bed.

Then after a few more questions and another blood pressure test, I was off. I was taken to the operating theatre door, then the nurse went inside. He returned with the anaesthetist's assistant, who asked me the same questions again. She also asked how long it's been since I noticed the swelling, and how I noticed it. She asked about the USA and my wife, and then I realised she was just trying to chill me out. I got wheeled into the anaesthetist's room, and the woman from earlier was in there. A man who I am assuming was a surgeon was also in attendance. He double checked the op I was having, double checked which side, then after inspecting it, drew an arrow on my right leg. It's still on there now. Can't be too careful, I guess.

I had my blood pressure taken one last time (I swear it was taken like 54 times over the whole day), I had a cannula attached to my wrist, and I had a gas mask put on. As the anaesthetist told me it would be a matter of seconds, her assistant told me to think of something nice. Like my wife. I laughed as I closed my eyes. The last thing I saw was the clock pointing to 1:45pm.

Then, after what seemed like moments, I woke up in the recovery room. I can't really describe the feeling of waking up from anaesthetic. It's like your body is fighting to wake up, but your brain can't work fast enough. I think I handled it quite well, I just kept trying to raise my head but was finding it difficult to manage. A disembodied voice to my right told me where I was, and that the operation was all over. I tried to make a joke about it only being 5 seconds since I was in the anaesthetist's room, but I think it came out as a mumble.

A women in a bed to my left kept trying to turn over, and what I'm guessing was a nurse kept telling her she had to lay on her back. She just looked asleep. Maybe she hadn't fully come around yet. I looked around and noticed the recovery room was quite huge. And quite empty, just like me, the lady to my left, and one or two other beds. I shut my eyes again, and suddenly I was back in the ward I started in. I really don't remember falling asleep nor do I remember being wheeled back. Such a strange feeling.

And that's about it. I slowly recovered in the ward (slowly. VERY slowly.), surrounded by the same patients that were there beforehand (I was in the corner, and there was an old man in front of me, to the side and diagonally in front too. Funny, that.). I turned down tea or coffee, and asked for water. I also had a sandwich after what seemed like 12 hours of waiting (but it was probably about half an hour). Then I pretty much just laid there, too awake to sleep but too groggy to read my book.

My entire abdomen felt like a giant ache. Nothing felt really painful, but nothing felt very comfortable either. Eventually the nurse that drew blood earlier came by and took me to the bathroom to see if I could go. After a very hobbling walk there and much debating between different areas of my body, it turned out I could go, and I told the nurse such. She went to get the discharge paperwork and told me to get dressed.

I buzzed for help when I got back as the cannula syringe was still in my hand, and washing my hands in the bathroom caused it to leak. A nurse came and removed it quickly, I don't really think it was supposed to still be in, and I got dressed. Awkwardly.

I saw (awkwardly) in the chair and waited. Another nurse came by and took me to the ward next door, filled in some papers (apparently I am not allowed to operate heavy or light machinery, eat heavy foods or sign important legal documents in the next 48 hours), then my mum was phoned up. While she was on the way, the nurse explained what had happened in the operation, and that it seemed like a total success. The consultant, Mr Andrews, wants to see me again in 4 weeks, and I still have my CT scan next week. I was also told when I can remove my bandages, etc. Then I was taken home, and slept most of the time between then and now (very awkwardly).

So here I am, still bandaged up, one testicle down. I haven't looked at anything yet, as the bandages are pretty thorough (I am basically wearing a giant old lady's underwear made of bandage). I'm allowed to take them off tomorrow evening, but I have to be very careful for a week after that. No boiling hot baths. No stretching. Stuff like that.

I don't think that'll be a problem.